10 Least Attractive Men in Show Biz

Who do you think of when you hear “hunk?”

Brad Pitt… Jude Law…Will Smith…

What about those stars we are fascinated by, not because of looks, well, maybe because of looks.  I am thinking of an accident on the freeway; you know the kind, so disastrous that you just can’t look away.  Yeah, you’re there.  Now think…

#10  Rowan Atkinson

Beans, beans the magical fruit… we’ve all heard that one, but what about “Mister Bean?”  You wanna date that?  If you happen to catch Rowan Atkinson with his face un-contorted, you may think… Hmmm… he’s not bad looking.  Right; when does Rowan, AKA Mister Bean ever not have his face contorted?  He gets a little bit of slack, however, because he is, after all, British, and talks with a wicked cool accent.

#9  Martin Short

This guy is not handsome… maybe, in dim light, with the right shadowing, and if you’re squinting…  you could look at him and not be weirded-out; maybe.  Why is he successful?  Because, let’s face it; the guy is damn funny, and “Saturday Night Live” would never have been what it was without Martin Short on the cast!

#8  Willem Defoe

He’s got it all:  The hair, the teeth, the smile that would scare the bravest of tykes.  Willem Defoe, best known for portraying soldiers, or eccentric characters… Duh; what else could he play?  What would it be like if he played Santa?  Don’t fool yourself; the beard could never adequately hide that mug.   He did manage to squeeze his way into a kid-flick, voicing the hardened ‘Gill‘ in Disney’s “Finding Nemo.”

#7  Paul Giamatti

One thing we know about Paul G is that he is a huge science fiction fan… No!  You don’t say?  Giamatti doesn’t actually have much in his filmography to scoff at; who knows how he gets the parts he does (he was awesome in the film “Sideways“) perhaps it is simply because he can, despite being an actor… actually act!

#6  Don Knotts

How can we pick on good ol’ Barney Fife?  Easy!  Look at them eyes!  Knotts never really kicked the Fife persona, but didn’t really seem to want to.  The character worked well in “The Apple Dumplin’ Gang,” and “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken.”  Don Knotts was a great character actor, with an… erm… highly recognizable mug.

#5  Michael Moore

Michael Moore is not an actor (obviously) but is definitely in show business.  His photo speaks for itself, although, I can say this… Ewww!  For someone who tries to be taken seriously, he sure doesn’t put any effort into looking serious.  Slob comes to mind when I think of Moore, not, that is, that I sit around thinking about Michael Moore.  At least on his official website, Mike’s PR group had the decency to hide half of his face on the home page.

#4  Samuel L. Jackson

Sturdy… Samuel L. Jackson has a ‘sturdy’ mug.  Everything that should be there, is there, just… in bigger proportions.  Big chin, big forehead, big teeth.  Jackson can put his talents into some great characters; including, ‘Mace Windu‘ in the new Star Wars movies, but there’s something ominous about his countenance.

#3  Clint Howard

Perhaps better known as the unfortunate little brother of Ron Howard, Clint Howard didn’t duck when the ugly-stick swung around…  The only guy with a bigger forehead is… well… nevermind, none exist.  Howard usually has some part or other in big brother Ron’s movies, but he fit character best as ‘Whobris’ in “The Grinch.”  Maybe production could have shaved some cost off makeup if they had used Clint for the actual Grinch.

#2  Steve Buscemi

Buscemi could never be mistaken for a bad actor; the guy is brilliant.  He could never be mistaken for a good-looking actor either; the guy is… wow.  I have oft wondered what he would look like if he went through a couple of years of braces.  Let’s face it, Steve Buscemi is as known for his teeth as for… oh forget it.  Buscemi is known for brilliantly-played, creepy characters.  As is the case with another who made our list, Buscemi also made it into a children’s movie, playing bad-guy, ‘Randall Boggs’ in Disney’s “Monster’s Inc.” (of course, how appropriate) as a voice-over.

#1  DJ Qualls

Wow… Here we are at number one.  DJ Qualls.  I first spied this creepy little dude in “Road Trip.”  His very aura has major creep-factor.  When I first saw him on the screen (once I got past the gag-reflex) I figured he’d grow into his… I dunno, I just figured he’d get better looking with age.  Nope.  Bummer.  DJ Qualls is one guy on this list that I seriously would not want to run into in person!  I’m pretty sure though, that he can’t come out in the light of day.

What do you think?  Who would you have added to this list of ugly?  Let us know, who’s on your ewww-list, and ItThing will post them!