The Most Blatant and Sexually Subliminal Commercials On TV

Posted by By flapjack at 1 September, at 12 : 03 PM Print

We all are pretty used to seeing sex being advertised as a mainstream method to attracting visitors- some are better at it than others. Some use sly tactics and subliminal methods to make others interested and some just use outright sexual comments or displays that are meant to shock or appeal, however some advertisers or products take it a bit too far perhaps. These awesome commercials are more than sexual in nature; some are pretty much just creepy and weird.

Shake Weight Commercial

There is no denying that this commercial and product are not only creepy in nature but totally perverted. There are just so many things wrongs about this; I am not even sure where to begin. To start with… the invention itself is like a hand weight that you shake back and forth, up and down… over and over that supposedly gives your upper arms a nice workout without much work. You just hold onto to this large toy… jerk it a few times and voila- perfect arms. (yeah…o.k.) Then, in a more comical manner, the commercial itself shows a woman griping it tightly while holding it so close to her face that I swear that thing is gonna knock her out. It just screams ‘built by man’ and sorry If you were wondering at all if this works- according to research- the Shake Weight is superior to an activity that is virtually worthless. So, basically… go find another outlet or avenue in which to work out your upper arms that might more beneficial to… umm you.

Snuggle Crème Fabric Softener Commercial

This one is totally suggestive and reeks of weirdness which is why we find it hard to believe no one has even complained about it yet. First off, the commercial starts out with a lady sitting in a bathtub full of laundry- perhaps she has an odd fetish to dirty clothes, I don’t know. And why she is sitting in a tub full of clothes… caressing them is just, well, really weird right?? Then the creepy snuggle teddy bear shuts the door and puts up a DO NOT DISTURB sign while the announcer states to ‘indulge your senses with this new snuggle crème stuff. Mind you, she is clearly not in the laundry room. Really… indulge in laundry soap… privately… in a bathroom???? Yeah, I don’t think so.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch ‘Lick Me, Eat Me’ Commercial

This one is so funny and seemingly innocent it makes me laugh… or perhaps I just have a really dirty mind and oh well. Anyways, it shows two cute little cinnamon toast crunch dudes standing in a bowl… all alone. One starts to lick the other while he moans a bit and acts nonchalant about it all… then he turns before the other guy can get another lick in and eats him. Awesome cereal porn or perhaps carnivorous cereal creatures… you choose.

Shiny Suds Get Nake Commercial

This one is just blatant perversion but pretty funny. I have to hand it to the environmentally concerned Method company for taking the risk in making this commercial. It basically makes reference to regular household cleansers that ‘seem’ clean but actually can be dirtier or perhaps more harmful than we all think. Regardless of the message, it is the horny talking bubbles that make this commercial funny as they make creepy comments to the naked women in the shower and beg her to use a loofa to wash and scrub it oh so good. “When did clean become so dirty?” Seriously!

Burger King Square Pants Dancing Commercial

We believe this is supposed to promote Burger King’s kids meals but is really aimed at exciting their parents and is a bit overzealous at that with a creepy singing King and his square butt women dancing to “I Like Square Butts”- yes, a remake of Sir Mixx ALots old school tune- ‘Baby Got Back’. To start with this commercial is just selling sex rather than burgers. And not that it’s wrong to sell sex, because we all know it works- BUT, this commercial is aimed at little kids and value meals. (Don’t even get my started on the perverted duo- Spongebob and the Starfish Patrick) Bottom line- we really don’t need to see some small child singing about how sexy square booty’s are while attempting to imitate the pimp daddy king of burgers- seriously, he is totally creepy in his own way too!

Quizno’s “Toasty Torpedo” Commercial

The opening line of the commercial just lays out the whole scene- a very sexually suggestive talking toaster asks his co-worker buddy to ‘do something’ and he says, “no way… not doing that again… it burned,” as he looks down at his pants while gnawing away on a 12 inch Quiznos torpedo sub. WOW. The commercial gets better as the toaster mentions how much they both liked it and to stop complaining, then he asks the guy to make one of the torpedo subs and ‘put it in him.’ “Yes, put it in him Scott… we are all waiting!!” (Scott is the co-worker fyi) Some people are just kinkier than others, but a strange fetish to a toaster oven… yip that is pretty up there on the weird meter, but to each his own. Somehow, I just don’t see myself going to Quiznos for a visit and asking for the torpedo sandwich anytime soon… or anything toasted for that matter!

Tiddy Bear Infomercial

Ok, so first glance (if you don’t see the name) the product is kind of cute and perhaps useful. I know I hate seat belts that rub against me too, but seriously… the Tiddy Bear?? And the commercial keeps showing crack whores (st) women moving this poor bear back and forth over their breasts as its attached to their seat belt. Sure it’s soft and cuddly but who wants a bear groping your breast while you drive. And that is not even the creepy part, in the commercial it states- “Kids of all ages love the Tiddy Bear.” Seriously… WTF… let’s leave the kids out of this one ok, please?

Palm Pre Commercial – “Deja Vu”

I am not quite sure you can call this commercial subliminally sexual actually, but it is completely freaky and she does look naked… so we are adding it to the pile here. The commercial starts off with the girls back towards us and then turns as if she is going to reveal something… and she seems to have no clothes on.. sooo, you wonder for about .5 second, then she starts to talk- and it’s weird, an uncomfortable weird. She mentions walking into a park and seeing a woman juggling balls. You are now thinking to yourself, is she walking around this park naked, who is this murmuring robot woman, and what is she doing? You get totally lost on the fact that it’s a commercial for the palm pre phone and more distracted by the fact the she is naked, whispering about walks in the park, and talking about women who juggle balls- creepy, yes!

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  1. Sue Chue, 5 years ago Reply

    I have noticed the same things. This article was awesome and funny. Thanks for the laughs.

  2. Matt, 5 years ago Reply

    How could you not include the Brawny commercial??

  3. Matt, 5 years ago Reply

    I mean, from the squeezing, to the “frosting” getting everywhere, and at the end he walks up with jeans so tight and can see EVERYTHING. Wow.

  4. The Most Blatant and Sexually Subliminal Commercials On TV « Fez'z Randomness, 5 years ago Reply

    [...] The Most Blatant and Sexually Subliminal Commercials On TV Posted: September 2, 2010 by 1fez in Uncategorized 0 [...]

  5. Gary, 5 years ago Reply

    You forgot the commercial with the “O” girl.

  6. L, 5 years ago Reply

    Strangely, I find myself tempted by the seductive Tiddy Bear – but only because it seems that no-one has yet come up with a seatbelt that doesn’t saw slowly and relentlessly through the neck of the poor wearer in an apparent attempt to decapitate. “Save me little bear, save me from the wrath of the killer seatbelts. I’ll hold you firmly in my hand as I move it up and down, up and down; I’ll tickle your nose and flirt with you shamelessly; I’ll gaze into your little Tiddy Bear eyes… Oh, crap! It seems I’ve become a perv!” Damn those advertizers and their subliminal brainwashing techniques.

    Actually, I usually MUTE most ads, or practically tune them out. (I can’t stand that croaky woman’s voice so many seem to be using right now – MUTE! Until advertizers can come up with something clever and intelligent that isn’t weird, sickening, or offensive, I’m just not taking any notice. But as for those sneaky product placement promo’s during TV shows, well, that’s another story.

  7. L, 5 years ago Reply

    What I found most offensive had nothing to do with the ads. Referring to the women in one of the ads as “crack whores” is what offends me more than anything.

  8. molly grace, 5 years ago Reply

    You were right on all but one-
    Unless you have tried the Shake weight you do not qualify to judge it-
    I have been using it and have lost weight in my face neck chest and arms-
    It works.So perhaps you need to try it before knocking it-

  9. Emp, 5 years ago Reply

    the woman in the palm pre commercial isnt actually naked

  10. luis cardin, 5 years ago Reply

    ROFL nice finds. Crazy how sexual subliminal messages are everywhere now…Even in children shows like iCarly. Thanks for the post.

  11. subliminal messages in spongebob, 4 years ago Reply

    My brother suggested I may like this web site. He was once totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not believe simply how a lot time I had spent for this info! Thank you!

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